TRUST:THE ESSENTIAL ELEMENT
Trust is essential in all healthy relationships and begins and begins at birth. (actually in the womb) However, when you have had a history of childhood trauma then what happened (during this most critical period of your development) is when you were most dependent and vulnerable and needed care on so many levels :you did not receive the consistent love and nurturance that forms and builds trust and connection. When you have not had “secure attachment “ then forming intimate bonds can be extremely challenging. (See “How Childhood Trauma Is The Root Of Addiction”)
It can also be a painful struggle to form trusting relationships with others. It can be even more challenging to get to know yourself and (becoming self aware) then to let others get to know you and form a close bond as your experience has been that letting others in is not “safe” but painful. It certainly would make emotional sense that you would be fearful of intimacy and yet very likely still long to be able to form intimate relationships. (See “Signs You have Built A Wall Around Your Heart”)
DiSCONNECTION WITH YOURSELF :FUELS AVOIDANCE AND “FEAR OF INTIMACY”
It is certainly an uphill battle for you to reconnect with parts of yourself but will be totally worth the effort. You very likely have parts of yourself that have been split off and “frozen”. In beginning this process of no longer avoiding and no longer harshly speaking to yourself about yourself you can become self aware and healing can begin to take place You can begin to know and to trust yourself. (See “Ways To Recognize You Do Not Value Yourself”). Healing can only take place in the present. The past can help you understand and illuminate the present. In order to connect in an intimate relationship it is essential for you to be “authentically” you and so you will need to give time and attention to yourself so that the parts of you that were “shamed and shutdown” can come alive so that you can “come to life and be restored and have your own “authentic” voice. Before you can connect in intimate ways with others healing has to take place inside of you so that you can love and value yourself (that is a prerequisite for loving another) and get accustomed to being kind and compassionate and courageous to yourself! You can then see your relationships being transformed before your eyes!
THE “RIGHT” THERAPIST CAN BE LIFE CHANGING
If you are ready to become “authentically” you and want to overcome your fear of intimacy then I would love to hear from you and walk by your side and guide you through this amazing healing journey! so give me a call so we can begin!