.My Approach
As your therapist. my focus will be that you experience: being seen, heard and felt during. every session.. I will listen not just to the words you speak but to the unheard “cry’ in your heart and spirit that goes past the words and has been unheard for a very long time. I will provide a space where you can begin to heal and feel truly “safe” possibly for the very first time.. It is a space for you to begin to feel safe, calm, and secure in your own body and as well and with me... As we work together you can begin to experience a “secure attachment” you can become more authentically you as healing can only take place when you are feeling “safe” and “ calm”.. I will be with you and sometimes I will lead and at other times you will lead in this “dance” as you explore and feel as well as understand the places in your heart, mind, spirit, and body where you are blocked and broken and have become stuck in pain caused by unhealed wounds related to your history of emotional/physical/sexual /relational trauma(s). I will keep it 100% real with you as I encourage and support you to become more kind and gentle with yourself as well as courageous, and assertive as the chains of shame and self-hatred are broken.. During this process, you will become more able to stretch past your comfort zones and get comfortable where you have been uncomfortable and uncomfortable where you have been comfortable..True transformation can only take place from the inside out. Together we will see and experience this amazing process .l. We will focus on you becoming reconnected with parts of yourself that have become frozen, and numb as an effect of trauma.( only then can you truly connect with yourself and others) It is essential to have all of our parts working so we can be whole.
As we develop a healthy collaborative authentic and fully alive therapeutic relationship where trust, safety and breaking through the wall of “aloneness” are the foundation, your nervous system will become calm so that you can begin to be able to feel and process your emotions and explore the underlying “roots” of your issues that make up the tapestry of your inner life and are then reflected in your relationship with yourself and others..
I believe this journey is extremely sacred, as it is a work of the heart, not primarily the mind.. Therapists can be extremely credentialed, but if they rely solely on their intellect, they cannot create a healing space for their clients. The true connection between us is the soil where healing takes place. My many years of experience provides a powerful element as I have been honored to walk with so many whose lives have been transformed from the inside out during our journey together. You will become more able to experience your feelings as well as become able to put what you are feeling into words and notice bodily sensations related to what you are experiencing.…. no longer having to deny or stuff your emotions. You will learn how to regulate your emotions, especially when feeling frustrated. and overwhelmed by them as well as begin to enjoy positive emotions .. This will happen over time as you begin to feel safe, seen,heard, and felt as we walk together..
I am a human first and a therapist second. I have had many years of therapy and do believe it is an essential prerequisite for all therapists. As I show up for you, I can empathize with you and provide insight and emotional attunement.. When you begin to experience what it is like to be heard and seen, felt, in our sessions: transformation from the inside out begins
Making The Unconscious Conscious
You may have decided to begin therapy thinking you need help with an issue in the present and that certainly can be true but it is also essential to begin to understand how your childhood (the little boy or little girl part of you) has affected your adult life.. Your pain is often rooted in having had an “insecure attachment” and how the effects of this have been unconsciously contributing to your present-day issues. . In therapy, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself(and all of your parts) and live in the present with self-compassion and love for yourself(and more of a capacity to love others)
I will also encourage you to explore your thoughts and feelings and help you put them into words and understand where they may have gotten “stuck” in your body This will allow you to communicate more effectively and to develop a healthier relationship with yourself and with those close to you. Your voice will become “your voice” as you become more authentically who you are.
Therapy That Is Uniquely Tailored For You
Therapy is not one-size-fits-all.. I meet each person I work with where they are, and I understand that each will progress through therapy at their own pace and during the process will become more patient and more self compassionate. I see each client as being a unique individual and one that does not have to fit into a limited therapeutic modality box or diagnosis.
The most important part of your healing will be based on the therapeutic collaborative relationship that is truly life changing from the inside out. During my 35 years of practice, I have incorporated the following modalities
Internal Family system theory-focusing on integrating all of the parts of the self that are needed in order to become whole and the role each part had in your family dynamics..
Psychodynamic theory—As a psychodynamic therapist, I understand how a person’s infancy and childhood shape their sense of self and their perception of the world as well as gaining the importance of your gaining an understanding of the ways that may keep you stuck in repeating the past rather than living fully in the present..
Somatic Theory— Working somatically means there is a focus on body-centered intervention and how memories have been stored in the body and helping you to notice what your body is saying and feeling as our bodies do not lie and can help you to feel what words often cannot express. Noticing and identifying sensations as before we experience anything in our brain it is first felt in our bodies.
Object relations theory—The images of yourself and your caregivers that you internalized both consciously and unconsciously during infancy and childhood affect how you view and relate to others as an adult as well as how you learned to feel and think about yourself.
Attachment relational theory—How the crucial role of our earliest attachments affect all of our relationships and when one does not have secure attachment as a child this can cause deep emotional wounding. There are many different types of attachment that can develop and you can begin to see and to feel how your attachment style has affected you as an adult and understand it is not a life sentence.
At times you may feel like avoiding therapy because you are so used to avoiding you but that is something to talk about with me not to act out and know it is part of the healing process and can lead to even more growth. I can also serve as your accountability partner as issues come up where we both agree that accountability is needed.
Therapy takes time: as healing is a process. In therapy, you are an active participant in this collaborative process. This process is not a quick fix and will teach you patience.It is an amazing journey during which you can become more curious about what is going on inside of you as we journey together and you know longer experience “aloneness” but safety and security. You then can truly “come alive and be present”!
I can help you to identify and emotionally process the places where you are broken and hurting so you can begin to come out of “stuck” places and no longer neglect your pain as well allowing yourself to finally feel and experience positive feelings and emotions. As you begin to do this, you are beginning the healing process. By visiting my website, you’ve taken the first step toward hope, healing, change, and growth. I look forward to hearing from you so we can talk about this some more.