As a trauma survivor it is so important to begin to feel safe in your body as when you experience trauma: which is anything so overwhelming that at the moment it is too frightening to process then the nervous system is holding the memories and feelings you could not process.. In an effort to protect yourself from feeling you may be in a shutdown or “frozen” state which makes it difficult for you to heal and become fully alive and safe in your body (see ”Keys To Staying Calm Instead Of Stressed”).
SAFE PEOPLE CAN HELP
Having safe people in your life can be an essential part of you feeling safe in your body.. It is so difficult to heal in isolation and although you probably have major trust issues and understandably so it still is important to not live a life avoiding true connections with others. I understand it is particularly difficult as a trauma survivor to let people in as people have been a source of pain and so you need to approach this slowly and to notice how you feel when you are with a “safe” person as opposed to the sensations and shallow breathing you may experience when feeling ‘unsafe”. Safe people will respect your boundaries and do not intrude or invade you or your space, Safe people have good boundaries and are able to not just listen but to hear. Not talking about perfect people but only those that you feel “safe” enough with to allow to take another step closer. Connection calms the nervous system and is needed for you to heal and move on..
FURRY FRIENDS : SAFE TOUCH
“Safe touch” is so needed as part of your recovery and furry friends can provide the “safe touch” that is needed as you relax and are able to “feel good feelings” once again. My Shih Tzu Mercy and my two cats Faithful and Joy are a big part of how my clients learn to feel safe with “safe touch” . These little ones truly change the atmosphere and bring a smile to many who come in with deep hurts and are in a “shutdown” state (as well as often being completely unaware of how frozen and shutdown they are). Almost all of my clients as a result of spending time with these little ones in our sessions now have adopted dogs or cats and the others already had furry friends that were part of their healing process. There is so much research showing the benefits of having an animal companion as they help to lower blood pressure, decrease stress levels, increase the immune system, and provide for you to experience the warm feelings with “safe touch” that are pleasurable as you begin to open your heart.
OPENING THE DOOR TO NOTICE AND HAVE “GOOD FEELINGS”
I have noticed that after trauma my clients often experience a lot of anxiety when they are in situations that may “feel good” in the moment as in the past “feeling good” was not safe and led to more pain. However, it remains important for you to notice what” feels good” even if it is just a few seconds or minutes and to allow yourself to breathe through this as you notice what you are feeling.. This will help you to begin to experience feeling safe in your body.
YOU HAVE A BODY BUT YOU ARE NOT YOUR BODY: YOU ARE SPIRIT
Truly the safest place is in God’s will. So ask Him to guide and direct you and order your steps and I am believing He will do just that for you as He loves you and wants to have a relationship with you. I am praying and believing for Him to send people into your life who will see you through His eyes as well as if you don’t have furry friends that he will send you the one or ones that are just for you! But most important may you begin to see yourself through His eyes!
THERAPY WITH THE RIGHT THERAPIST
The effects of trauma need to be addressed not avoided and it is so important to have the “right therapist” as you approach your amazing journey of recovery and healing! I have seen so many of my clients courageously walk through this process and go forward knowing they are valuable and precious and would be honored to be able to collaborate and walk with you as well as I have seen the dead truly come alive!
Please call me if what I am saying resonates with you..20 minute free consultation is available
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