If you are in a relationship with a narcissist then you know first hand how the painful effects of this abusive relationship and how it has taken root in your heart, mind, body and spirit.

You may never have had a secure attachment as a child...which means at the critical periods where trust and security and nurturance are essential:you did not have what every baby and child desperately needs in order to feel safe and loved.Your primary caregiver may have been avoidant or ambivalent or disorganized and as a result you grew up feeling anxious or depressed and alone as well as believing the lie that you "are less than".

So important to understand that forgiveness is not instant even when we make the choice to forgive: as there is a process that needs to unfold in your heart, mind and spirit. So many times this process is not understood and as a result the choice to forgive never comes to fruition.

In all of the years that I have been working with trauma survivors one theme comes up over and over and that is how much self hatred has been internalized. As children we are totally dependent on our caregivers and if you were abused, neglected, or abandoned: you very likely blamed yourself.

If you have experienced childhood trauma it is important understand how your history of trauma can greatly influence and open the door to being reinjured as an adult by being retraumatized in relationships.

When you have had a childhood where your boundaries have been consistently violated(especially when you are a (trauma survivor) then this can seem like a great challenge as it was the role of your caregivers to model and provide healthy boundaries for you.

If you are a trauma survivor with unresolved trauma reflected by having experienced a history of abuse, neglect and abandonment then it is important to understand how this deep wounding of your mind, body and spirit has affected you and how your woundedness is going to go with you when you are in a relationship.

Healing can only take place when our nervous system is calm… and healing can only take place in the present…so if you are anxious/depressed and worried and stuck in the past that can effect the healing process

If you've experienced trauma, it may be affecting your life in more ways than you realize.

There are many different types of traumatic events: sexual assault, violent relationships, grief, loss, bad breakups, childhood neglect and abandonment, and more.