If you are in a relationship with a narcissist then you know first hand how the painful effects of this abusive relationship have taken root in your heart, mind, body and spirit. Narcissistic abuse can clearly open the door to trauma. You may have narcissistic parents. siblings and now are in a relationship where you are getting reinjured and you know this is familiar to you as the tapestry of this toxic connection unfolds before your eyes. You very likely have not learned how to protect yourself from the narcissist but there certainly new ways that you can begin to put in practice that are healthy and will reflect your honoring yourself so that the narcissist no longer is running your life in any way!
1. BOUNDARIES, BOUNDARIES, BOUNDARIES: YOUR PROTECTION
Am sure by now you get the point that boundaries are essential as without them you are fueling a toxic pattern which can continue in the choices you have made in friends or partners. The image I like to use for you to understand what it means for you to have a boundary is: picture a gate that protects a highly valued piece of property .The gate is there so that the property owner can decide and control who and what enters their property. It is not an open door and only the owner(who is you) can decide who, what. when, where and how much you allow another to enter the sacred space that belongs to you as you are the owner of your decisions, thoughts, likes, dislikes, emotions and feelings,...no one has the right to invade and intrude on you.
2. PROTECT YOURSELF BY NOT BEING VULNERABLE
Narcissists do not care how you think or feel but your emotionally and spiritual reality is one you truly need to begin to make a priority and spend time journaling as well as quiet reflective time with yourself so that you can become more aware of what you feel and think not what the narcissistic has projected onto you. You can begin to no longer "cast your pearls on swine"! Share your heart only with those you are safe with. You are not safe with the narcissist as their agenda is to control and manipulate you not empathize and be emotionally available but emotionally abusive.
3. TAKE TIME TO HEAL
Narcissistic abuse is traumatic and it so important that you begin to take time to care for yourself and learn new ways of nurturing you. Let go of the belief as it is a lie that you can change the narcissist and take time and energy for you to be restored and to know you are valuable. This can be the appointed time for you to invest rather than avoid yourself and to seek the right therapist so you can begin to heal: seek one who will support you and walk with you on this healing journey. Would be honored to walk along with you as you grow in understanding and are restored as your wounds are acknowledged and addressed so that the healing process can begin to take place and your true value becomes your new identity as you finally give yourself the safe space and attention that is so needed for your recovery from the trauma of abuse.
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