Chilhood Trauma: Abuse, Neglect and Abandonment
If you are a trauma survivor with unresolved trauma reflected by having experienced a history of abuse, neglect and abandonment then it is important to understand how this deep wounding of your mind, body and spirit has affected you and how your woundedness is going to go with you when you are in a relationship......you probably have noticed by now that your relationships are frequently .. out of balance and fueled by anxiety and fear as well as deep sadness, excessive .neediness and dependency. You may be becoming more aware of how your unresolved issues:, shame, guilt and low self esteems, fear of rejection and abandonment are running your emotional life..In other words as you are attempting to avoid and run from your inner pain(often this can be unconscious) and" run" into a relationship..... but everywhere you go there you are. Similar to a drug addict or alcoholic who attempts to avoid and numb their emotional pain rather than addressing their pain at the root so healing can take place: your drug of choice has become relationships. in an attempt to soothe, anesthetize and distract from your feelings of emptiness and pain. Codependency is: relationship addiction rather than a healthy relationship based on two whole functioning individual unique people( not perfect) who value themselves and set boundaries and limits: codependent relationships thrive on role confusion and lack of boundaries and limit setting and giving and eating what I call "the junk food of life as you enable or are enabled rather than courageously identify and address real issues When the foundation of a relationship is not based on an addictive need then there is potential for a level playing field where authentic growth and true connection can take place and where toxic familiar patterns from the past no longer have power over your choices.
Benefits of Overcoming Codependency
Setting boundaries and limits.,,,learning to trust and protect yourself and your integrity
No longer defining yourself and your value through a relationship
Having your own voice (no more people pleasing) and being able to assert yourself and say the truth in love
Understanding that what feels "familiar" and that you interpret as : "good" may actually be toxic
making healthy choices in relationships as you no longer are attempting to use a relationship as a mood-altering drug.
Valuing yourself and no longer willing to compromise on what is important to you and what is unacceptable.
Knowing it is not your job and never was your job to"fix" or be "the caregiver " of another person but to show up in relationship as a whole person.
No longer allow your past to run your life.
THE “RIGHT” THERAPIST CAN TRULY HELP YOU TO HEAL
All of the above benefits can be part of your healing and are directly related to the healing of unresolved trauma..It certainly will take courage and motivation and very often desperation to start therapy. .our work together will be a collaborative effort. A therapeutic relationship with the right therapist can greatly help you to heal and to know your true value and worth...would love to walk along with you on this journey! It would be an honor and look forward to hearing from you so please give me a call so we can begin!