How do you establish boundaries if you never had them?
When you have had a childhood where your boundaries have been consistently violated(especially when you are a (trauma survivor) then this can seem like a great challenge as it was the role of your caregivers to model and provide healthy boundaries for you. Our boundaries are the fruit of how we think and feel and know, so it will take awareness and motivation, courage to begin this part of your healing process. Once your own critical inner voice becomes less critical and more gentle and kind then your capacity to tolerate distress and frustration can develop,and when you are no longer under the control of your emotions: you then will be more prepared to begin to notice and protect your boundaries. An example I often give is: think of yourself as a precious piece of property and only you can decide who can enter and how they enter and who will not. You no longer have to submit ..you have a voice: so don't put your hand over your own mouth...you can now choose to no longer be a hostage!
OWNING AND DEFINING WHO YOU ARE
When we establish boundaries :we are defining ourselves.taking ownership and responsibility of what is ours and doing the hard work in ourselves and in our relationships rather than running away and avoiding and learning to truly love rather than comply. As a child you may have had no safe people around you and relationships then became a place of great pain fear and anger as well as injury and reinjury as you grew up.., establishing boundaries means you do exist and you do take up space and you will show up and no longer have to be under the influence of your past where you had years of having had no boundaries with your childhood caregivers and believed "I will have whatever you are having,,if you like it then I will like it too" It is overtime for you to start to know you and what you truly want, like and know.
THE ‘RIGHT’ THERAPIST CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE
Everything I am describing is what you need to bring into therapy as finally, you will have a safe place and a safe person who is an expert to guide you as well as really hears and listens and cares and will walk along this journey of courage and healing with you..I look forward to hearing from you as this can be a life-changing and life affirming decision...may you no longer put yourself on the back burner in that familiar but toxic childhood position but make a choice to go through this amazing healing process!give me a call so we can begin!