1) Wholeness vs. Neediness

If you are desperate for a relationship its not the time to be in one... like a person being so hungry that they will eat unhealthy or spoiled food and may even call it "good' until they start to feel sick. Are you so hungry? Running away from you is not a prerequisite for a healthy relationship as in healthy relationships two halves do not make a whole. Important to note: that in relationships every place you are not healed will come up and will need to be processed in wholeness (not perfection but having a stable cohesive relationship with yourself and communicating) not neediness as your underlying motivation for relationship.

2) Boundaries vs. Codependency

If you have lived your life without good boundaries it can be difficult to even imagine being able to love and connect while both having and respecting boundaries. You may also find it anxiety provoking to honor the boundaries of others. In codependent relationships one person over-functions as the other under-functions and there is a clear lack of boundaries. In an emotionally meaningful relationship, you don't have to give up your feelings, preferences and opinions and address not avoid conflict but can communicate, listen as well as be heard.

3. Honoring Yourself vs. Abuse/Toxicity

Although there may be explanations for abuse there are no excuses. Any type of abuse (physical, emotional, verbal, manipulation and control) cannot be accepted.any relationship where there is a pattern of abuse is a toxic one. You may have grown up in a family where you were not respected and honored and internalized negative beliefs and feelings about yourself that have consciously or unconsciously effected your choice of partner. Your relationship may feel familiar in many ways and that glue keeps you feeling stuck and helpless…but beginning to take steps to honor and respect yourself is a step out of bondage into freedom.

If you are ready to work towards wholeness, healthy boundaries, and honoring yourself, give me a call.

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Video and Phone therapy available during this time. Please contact me for a 20 minute free Phone Consultation.