1. You Don't Need The Approval of Others To Survive and Thrive
You may have been trained since childhood to be a people pleaser and by now you are noticing the effects of your not being able to authentically show up in relationships and the frustration that goes with that experience. You have believed that in order for people to "like you and accept you" that you need to overfunction and give up your boundaries and your own "authentic voice". This is the time that it is so essential that you begin to see and understand that in order to survive (and this was probably unconscious):"you believed a lie" and as a result you made peace with powerlessness. You are here not just to survive but to THRIVE!
2. Conflict Is Not To Be Avoided But Addressed
Addressing conflict rather than avoiding conflict may feel really scary to you at this time as you very likely have done everything to avoid addressing conflict, however, the conflicts that we avoid can take on a life of their own and these unaddressed conflicts can run your life.
3. It is Essential to Notice What is Blocking You From Liking and Accepting Yourself
You may have defined your value based on others "liking" you rather than going deeper and seeing what is blocking you from "liking" yourself. If for you it has become a pattern that it is most important that others like you then it is time to do inventory as to what you "like" and don't like about yourself and to address the roots of this self defeating cycle .If you do not like yourself than "people pleasing" can open a door to shutting you down and keeping you stuck looking outside rather than taking time to go inside to see what you are thinking and feeling as well as the wounds that you have not addressed.
4. Your Voice Matters And Needs To Be Heard: First for You And Then For Others
You may have spent so much time wanting others to "like" you and fearing rejection that you may have symbolically put your own hand over your mouth" and yet there is the hope that you will be heard and understood however, no one can read your mind and your heart so YOU MUST BEGIN TO SPEAK,,,yes it can feel risky but what a price you have paid for not using your own unique precious voice..Yes it matters how we speak to ourselves and to others so there will be a learning curve for you to learn to calmly and assertively speak .
Therapy can be sooo beneficial in breaking this self destructive cycle of people pleasing and understanding how this pattern began to take root in childhood and no longer has to run your life and your relationships as an adult. Would love to walk with you and guide you on this courageous life giving healing journey and to see you growing and developing as you learn to no longer make peace with powerlessness and become AUTHENTICALLY who you were meant to be!
Click here for more information on bilingual Relationship Counseling.
Please contact me for a 20 minute free virtual consultation.