Addressing Rather than Avoiding Conflict
You may have been depressed before this difficult season of so much uncertainty and now have been slammed with another wave of feeling hopeless and defeated. ..This is a time when you can begin to notice if you have developed patterns of avoiding your emotions and that usually goes hand and hand with avoiding conflict. The great difficulty that arises when we attempt to avoid conflict (as you may have noticed) is that the conflict (or conflicts)we try to avoid begin to run our lives and greatly contribute to depression as all of our anger and frustration is internalized rather than acknowledged and processed in a healthy way.
Dealing with Roots of Shame and Perfectionism
Shame: which can also be described as the belief that "I am a mistake rather than:I made a mistake".The need to be perfect and the harsh inner critic's voice when faced with the every day challenges of being a human being is almost always driven by childhood trauma.Your thoughts and feelings and emotions may have been ignored or criticized by your caregivers and you may have only gotten some attention when you were performing and complying with their needs and began to believe(often unconsciously)that your having needs was not ok and that you needed to be perfect in order to be loved ...so with this setup: it became extremely difficult for you to be kind and compassionate and patient with yourself....Perfectionism is toxic and feeds on shame and depression.
Learning to Be Grateful :Medicine For Depression
When you are feeling alone and depressed and defeated it can seem like a big stretch to begin to acknowledge that even in this valley experience you still have the capacity and the choice to begin to acknowledge and be thankful for what you do have. You got up this morning and you are breathing on your own and it has been documented that we take 23,000 breathes a day and for most of us we just take it for granted but our breath is symbolic that we are alive and to be grateful for there are many who cannot start the day even breathing on their own. Is there anyone that you consider a good friend?what a blessing even if you have just one good friend.I want you to take a few minutes and look at your life and begin consider to be thankful for things both big and small that you may have taken for granted:it is a blessing to have a place to live and food and clothes and think about the times you were in painful situations in your life and how you were brought out of these situations and what did you learn?Valley experiences are painful but it is where God can meet you in your suffering and refine you on many levels...yes you are in the valley and" :going through the fire but believe with me that you are coming out gold"!
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