DURING THIS PANDEMIC MANY OF US HAVE HAD MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO BE ALONE AND THOUGH ALONE TIME IS CERTAINLY IMPORTANT IT IS EQUALLY IMPORTANT NOT TO ISOLATE AND TO HAVE ‘HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS. THERE ARE QUALITIES OF HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS THAT WILL NURTURE AND UPLIFT RATHER THAN DEPLETE .(SEE: ”HOW TRAUMA EFFECTS YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE”) THE FOLLOWING ARE SOME OF THE QUALITIES THAT MAKE UP A HEALTHY FRIENDSHIP RATHER THAN A TOXIC ONE. IN ORDER TO STAY HEALTHY PHYSICALLY,. EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY AND SPIRITUALLY IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT WE MAKE HEALTHY CHOICES OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CLOSEST IN OUR LIVES.(SEE: 5 KEYS TO DEVELOPING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS)

HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS ARE WHERE WE ARE CELEBRATED AND CAN GROW

WE ALL NEED VALIDATION FROM OTHERS AT TIMES AND HEALTHY FRIENDS ARE ONES THAT “VALUE YOU” WITH ALL YOUR ISSUES A HEALTHY FRIEND CAN SEE YOUR STRENGTHS AND CAN APPRECIATE WHO YOU ARE AND WHO YOU ARE BECOMING . WE ARE NOT HERE TO STAY THE SAME AND IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP BOTH PEOPLE WANT TO GROW AND CHANGE AS WELL AS TO STRETCH PAST THEIR COMFORT ZONES IN ORDER TO ACHEIVE THIS!

HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS ARE PLANTED WITH SEEDS OF LOVE AND TRUTH AND MUTUAL RESPECT

WELL YES SOUNDS LIKE ALOT TO ASK FOR YOU MAY BE SAYING AND THINKING BUT IF YOU GREW UP IN A HOME WHERE YOU WERE NEVER CELEBRATED OR VALIDATED YOU MAY NOW BE MAKING ‘FAMILIAR CHOICES’ RATHER THAN ‘HEALTHY ONES’.TIME TO RE-EVALUATE IS NOW..HAVE YOU HAD THE BAR SOO LOW THAT YOUR CHOICES ARE A CLEAR REFLECTION OF THAT? THE TRUTH SPOKEN IN LOVE IS A WONDERFUL GIFT A GREAT BLESSING AND IN HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS:'‘IRON DOES SHARPENS IRON'‘ . THE TONE WITH WHCH WE SPEAK TO ONEANOTHER AND THE WORDS WE CHOOSE REALLY DOES MATTER AS DOES HOW WE SPEAK TO OURSELVES.IF YOU ARE CRITICAL AND SHAMING YOURSELF CONTINUALLY THEN NOTICE HOW YOU ARE TALKING TO YOURSELF AND HOW THIS SELF TALK NEEDS TO BE MORE KIND AND MERCIFUL. LOVE AND TRUTH AND MUTUAL RESPECT AS WELL AS SELF RESPECT ARE ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS FOR OUR HEALING AND NOT BEING ‘REINJURED’. IN RELATIONSHIPS .CHOOSE WISELY WHO YOU LET IN TO YOUR INNER CIRCLE! (SEE: WAYS TO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU DON’T VALUE YOURSELF)

WE TRAIN PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US BY HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES

YOU CAN LEARN ALOT ABOUT YOURSELF IN RELATIONSHIPS AND ONE WAY TO EVALUATE HOW YOU ARE TRULY FEELING ABOUT YOURSELF IS; HOW ARE OTHER PEOPLE ARE TREATING YOU. (SEE: ” 3 WAYS TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM NARCISSISTIC ABUSE AND TO KNOW YOUR OWN VALUE”) WE TRAIN PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US BY HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES.SO IF YOU DON’T RESPECT YOUR OWN BOUNDADRIES AND VALUE AND HONOR YOURSELF NOT BASED ON WHAT YOU DO BUT BASED ON WHO YOU ARE THEN YOU WILL SEE THST REFLECTED IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.

EMPATHY IS THE CAPACITY TO FEEL WHAT ANOTHER FEELS

IF YOU WERE NEVER RECEIVED EMPATHY THEN YOU MAY BE FOCUSING ON BEHAVIOR WHEN YOU SPEAK TO YOURSELF OR THOSE CLOSE BUT EMPATHY HAS A “HEART” QUALITY AND IT IS ABOUT BEING ABLE TO “BE” IN THE MOMENT AND CONNECT WITH ANOTHER PERSONS EMOTIONS.SO IF YOU FEEL MISUNDERSTOOD OFTEN YOU MAY BE SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO CAPACITY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU “FEEL” BUT ONLY WHAT YOU “SHOULD DO”

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THE ‘RIGHT THERAPIST CAN MAKE SUCH A DIFFERENCE

FRIENDSHIPS LIKE ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE “TRIGGERS” AND WITH THOSE “TRIGGERS” OPPORTUNITIES FOR GROWTH. THERAPY WITH THE ‘RIGHT THERAPIST’ CAN PROPEL THE GROWTH PROCESS AND HELP YOU TO SEE THE ‘BLIND SPOTS’ IN THE TAPESTRY OF YOUR LIFE AND NEW TAPESTRY PATTERNS CAN BEGIN TO BE SOWN AND DYSFUNCTIONAL AND DAMAGING ONES NO LONGER WILL HAVE POWER TO RUN YOUR LIFE. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU IF WHAT I AM SAYING IS SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO ADDRESS IN YOUR LIFE. PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT RELATIONSHIP THERAPY AND LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU!