If you have experienced childhood sexual abuse it is so important to know that you are not alone. So many men are struggling as you are with deep pain in their souls and bodies relationships, as so many have internalized their shame, blame and guilt as you very likely have(See “Keys To Feeling Safe In Your Body”). You may be at a point of no longer being able to stuff, deny or minimize the effects of what happened to you and how you have kept this “secret” that seems to be running your life. You may be becoming more self aware and noticing how you are feeling more depressed and anxious as well as how you have been emotionally shutdown in attempt to not feel your pain. You may also be fearful that if you share what happened to you with someone who you are close to that you will be rejected, abandoned, not believed and blamed so you have been silent. Yet there is also a part of you that longs to no longer have this emotional physical and spiritual bondage run your life and want to courageously begin to look inside so your healing can begin!(See “Trauma Therapy”)

THE EFFECTS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH “YOURSELF”

Sexual abuse is an abuse of power and of trust. As a child you were powerless to stop the abuse and now you may feel powerless in many areas of your life as you have become a “harsh inner critic” of your every move and thought and struggle with the “battlefield that is in your mind” constantly. You may struggle feeling unsafe in your own body. Your self esteem at times may seem to hit rock bottom .. You may be addicted to porn, drugs, alcohol, work in an attempt to numb out and sooth your pain.(See “Trauma Is The Root Of Addiction”) You may feel confused about your “masculinity” and sexuality, your identity. . Avoiding your emotions rather than regulating and processing your emotions is another way that childhood sexual abuse can effect your relationship with yourself. Guilt and shame can certainly block your capacity to feel all your emotions and have kept you stuck in silence. The disconnect from yourself is another effect of sexual trauma and learning to give yourself the time, attention and self care you so need can make a big difference as you will be starting to connect and value yourself.

EFFECTS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE ON RELATIONSHIPS

Trust is the foundation of all healthy relationships . When you are sexually abused as a child your trust has been deeply ruptured.(See ”Keys To Begin To Heal From Your Trust Issues”) The abuser is almost always “someone you trusted”. Usually the abuser is a family member, relative, family friend or trusted member of the community(such as a a pastor, rabbi, coach ,teacher ,doctor)When trust is ruptured by sexual abuse children tend to blame themselves and the “silence” takes root. If there had been a “safe” person to share this with it could have been life changing. But often a child feels alone and helpless. The message that your heart, mind, body and spirit received is that “it is not safe to trust anyone” In order to be able to form intimate healthy relationships we have to feel “safe enough” to be vulnerable. So many of the men that I have worked with have began therapy as they had begun an intimate relationship and were overwhelmed by anxiety and triggers from the past and felt unlovable. The wonderful thing is that we can learn so much about ourselves in relationships and healing can take place when the relationship is with someone “safe” and who will not ‘reinjure” you.

THE “RIGHT” THERASPIST IS ESSENTIAL TO YOUR HEALING JOURNEY

The “right” therapist is essential as without that foundational therapeutic collaborative relationship healing cannot take place. Your courageous steps towards healing need to be honored and nurtured by an expert on the effects of childhood sexual trauma who has knowledge ,wisdom and heart. I have had the honor for many years of walking on this healing journey with amazing men that have been deeply traumatized and have seen changed lives and changed relationships as the chains of lies and bondages have been broken and the ”truth that sets you free” becomes a reality. If you are struggling with years of silence related to the effects of your childhood sexual abuse and are wanting to give yourself the attention you so desperately need so healing can begin to take place then give me a call.