SAFE PEOPLE SOW SEEDS OF TRUST

Safe people are those who can be trusted. Over time you can see that they really do care about “you” and express that caring not just with words but with actions. Safe people are dependable so you can count on them to be emotionally stable ”not perfect” but “safe” enough that you can safely share your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and opinions, without the fear of being attacked but rather healthy honest communication is encouraged. Safe people are the ones who want to get to know you and make that clear to you: emotionally and with how they behave.

See:”How Emotional Attunement Heals Attachment Wounds”

UNSAFE PEOPLE CAN FEEL “FAMILIAR” DUE TO WOUNDS OF YOUR PAST

When we have been in a family where caregivers were not emotionally present or emotionally attuned to our needs and when we were neglected, abused, (physically, emotionally, sexually) abandoned then “unsafe people” have become very ”familiar”. “Familiar” does not mean “good” though we can confuse the two at times. We were helpless as little ones and needed to adapt and we had no power to choose who are caregivers would be. However now as adults when we have not yet given those “wounds” attention we can choose relationships where we often feel “unheard, unseen, and untouched” as we did when we were much younger. This is what causes us to continue to seek” insecure attachment” as “secure attachment”(though we may long for it) is unfamiliar.

Making wise relationship choices is essential in order for you to have healthy connections and nurture your emotional well-being. This process involves carefully assessing the character and behavior of potential partners while prioritizing those people who consistently demonstrate respect, integrity, and reliability in their actions. Avoiding unsafe individuals—specifically those who exhibit manipulative, disrespectful, or harmful behaviors—protects not only personal peace but also one's emotional safety. Establishing clear personal boundaries and dedicating the necessary time to understand someone’s core values and intentions can help to prevent a lot of hurt and pain and promote healthier relationships that contribute positively to your overall life satisfaction. Ultimately, nurturing relationships with trustworthy people lays the solid foundation for a supportive and fulfilling emotional landscape that can enrich your life in many meaningful ways..so important for you to have discernment as that is wisdom as well as heart..

SAFE PEOPLE HONOR YOUR BOUNDARIES

When we have become accustomed to having our boundaries violated(which began in early childhood) then we have not been able to develop the essentials needed to protect ourselves and to maintain healthy relationships. Safe people will maintain their boundaries and are able to differentiate between themselves and others. They do not require you to agree with or blend with them; a safe person can stay connected and engaged with you even during conflict. Conflicts occur in all relationships and for ruptures to be repaired and for you to feel “safe”. In order to feel “safe”: boundaries are needed to be in place.

Safe people will provide an opportunity for you to learn even more about maintaining your boundaries as safe people can model for you what it is like in the present moment

. Again: safe people are not perfect but they will honor you as a separate person and value boundaries in your relationship. Safe people will not intrude on you and invade your space but will make space for you to be authentically “you”.See:”Red Flags Of An Unhealthy Relationship”

Safe people understand the importance of boundaries. They recognize that everyone has personal limits, and they honor those limits with respect and care. When you establish your boundaries, whether they are emotional, physical, or mental, safe individuals will listen and respond positively. They create an environment where you feel comfortable expressing your needs and concerns.

Respecting boundaries goes hand in hand with effective communication. Safe people engage in open dialogue, ensuring that both parties understand each other’s limits. This avoids misunderstandings and fosters trust. For instance, if you express that you need time alone to recharge, a safe person will acknowledge that need without pushing or questioning your decision.

Moreover, safe individuals model healthy boundaries in their own lives. They know when to say no and maintain their limits without guilt. This behavior encourages those around them to also feel empowered to establish their boundaries. It creates a mutual understanding that everyone deserves to have their space and needs respected.

In supportive relationships, boundaries are not seen as walls that separate individuals but as guidelines that enhance connection and intimacy. When both parties feel safe and respected, it deepens the relationship and promotes emotional well-being. Ultimately, safe people build a foundation of trust that allows for growth and understanding, making it easier for everyone involved to thrive.

SAFE PEOPLE ARE HONEST

Honesty is a cornerstone of any meaningful relationship, and it’s especially vital when identifying safe people in your life. Being genuinely honest with someone creates an environment where both of you can express your true thoughts and feelings. This openness builds trust, which is essential for feeling safe and supported.

Safe people provide a space to share your feelings without fear of judgment or retaliation. When honesty is present, you know that what you say will be received with understanding instead of criticism. This doesn’t mean that your conversations will always be easy or comfortable, but it does mean that they will be rooted in authenticity.

Additionally, honesty fosters accountability. Safe people own their words and actions, and they encourage you to do the same. When you are honest about your thoughts, needs, and boundaries, it encourages others to be truthful as well. This mutual honesty can enhance the depth of your relationships, allowing you to navigate challenges with greater ease and understanding.

Moreover, honesty helps clarify intentions and reduces misunderstandings. It can be easy to misinterpret actions or words when honesty is lacking, leading to unnecessary confusion or conflict. When safe people communicate openly, it minimizes the risk of assumptions and allows for clearer connections.

In essence, being honest with yourself and those around you is the foundation of building safe relationships. It invites vulnerability and invites others to be vulnerable in return. As you cultivate honesty in your interactions, you create a net of safety that can support both you and those in your life, allowing relationships to flourish.

SAFE PEOPLE ARE NOT PEOPLE PLEASERS

Safe people are not “people pleasers” as they value authentic connection and speak the truth in love! How refreshing and wonderful it is to have relationships where we can be ourselves and not have to embellish what is actually true because of the fear that we will be rejected or criticized when we speak the truth in love.

Safe people do not enable or enmesh and that foundation in relationships makes it possible for even the most wounded parts of you to begin to trust and feel safe as well as change and grow and be transformed. People pleasers often present an appealing facade, but they can be unsafe because they prioritize others' needs over their own, leading to a lack of boundaries. When someone constantly seeks approval or avoids conflict, they may hide their true feelings and desires, making it difficult for you to know where they stand in the relationship. This can create an environment of unpredictability, where their actions are driven by a desire to please rather than a genuine connection. Their tendency to conform can lead to situations where your needs and well-being are overlooked or neglected, making it essential to approach relationships with individuals who maintain healthy boundaries and are authentic in their interactions.

.THE “RIGHT” NYC RELATIONSHIP THERAPIST CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE

So important for you to be able to give yourself the attention you so need to move forward in your relationship with yourself and those that you choose to have in your close circle! Would love to walk with you on this healing journey so please give me a call so we can begin!