Before any drug addict or alcoholic can begin recovery it is essential that there is a period of detoxing from the toxic effects of the substances  they have been using.  These substances were an attempt to not feel pain but actually caused even more pain and problems. It is often a very difficult and painful process on many levels but before a new life can begin to be chartered the toxic poisons that have been ingested over time must be removed. Just like a physical detox as a first step toward recovery for those wanting freedom from addiction, an emotional and spiritual as well as physical detox are steps toward detoxing from relationships that have been poisonous to your life on many levels.  Toxic relationships deplete rather than encourage and restore and keep you in a holding pattern Chronic arguing, manipulation and control, power struggles, feeling like you are walking on eggs all the time, continually feeling stressed out and that your voice is not heard or honored is abusive and toxic.  

Make Time to Notice and Reflect

If you have a history of toxic relationships and trauma then  this present situation can be  familiar to you as we often choose to be in relationships with others that( either consciously or unconsciously) have similar traits that our caregivers had. Taking time for yourself  to notice and reflect on what you are feeling and thinking as well as how this relationship has reinjured you is so important..Though this can feel familiar that does not mean it is healthy.

As you start to take time for yourself  and  make a decision to set limits and boundaries(as toxic relationships are frequently fueled by codependency)you can become more self aware and develop a whole new level of  inner strength as you  identify your own voice.

The Importance of Self Care

Once you begin spending time with yourself you can start noticing and acknowledging what you are  feeling and thinking in a safe place you can learn to identify what is nurturing for you and what is not. Toxic relationships weaken the immune system so you will need to take time to destress and  to address how to restore your physical health and as you know eating healthy foods and moving that body consistently will help your mood and speed up recovery, Nurturing your spirit is also an important part of this process.I know prayer moves mountains so I encourage you to cry out to God for restoration and healing and wisdom as well as courage during your quiet times or any time at all.He heals the broken hearted and sets the captives free. Therapy can be extremely helpful and a big part of your self care as you learn you are valuable and worthy of giving and receiving love:without having to pay the price you have been paying for so long.

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