It is only natural when we are going through extreme emotional/psychological/spiritual pain and grief(relational trauma) to try to avoid and run away but please know that when you avoid “you” and what is going on inside of you it does block both healing and growth as well as transformation.. This is not a time to be impulsive or addicted to what “feels good” momentarily but can increase your pain This is a time to go inward and “to guard your heart” especially now when you are extremely vulnerable and needy and your judgment very likely is not the best. In other words:” you‘re: not in your right mind” not the “best version” of yourself at the moment so your focus needs to be on nurturing yourself and learning what you need to learn from this relationship that has now become relational trauma so you can begin to heal See: “How To Identify Your Trauma Triggers” The following are essential and can help you as you go through your healing process!

FOOLS RUSH IN: WISE MEN AND WOMEN HAVE RESTRAINT

This is the absolutely “worst” time to enter into a new relationship. If you could sit with me through the years and hear and see all the pain and heartache this lack of impulse control combined with neediness and poor judgment has created. There are so many who have just experienced “relational trauma and ” quickly dive into another relationship in their brokenness... It is the most “unwise” time to do that as you have nothing to “give” at that time and two-half people do not make a “whole” in this scenario. It is a time to “protect” yourself and have healthy boundaries rather than “act out” and there are so many consequences if you choose to start another relationship before you are healed.”

See: “How To Stop Avoiding Your Pain”

TAKE “All” THE TIME TO RECOVER: THAT YOU NEED

As you begin to process and heal from “Relationship Trauma” so important to know that this will take time and is not the same for everyone. Only you can decide and know what it is that you need to recover. Solitude is an important part of your healing process. If you are codependent or addicted then it is even more important to develop a loving relationship with yourself as you become more introspective and self-aware: as you identify your issues and wounds.. Healing is not a quick fix but a gentle touch over time where you can start to identify your wounds and be able to address them rather than stuff them and implode. Therapy can be and needs to be a part of your healing process. You have the opportunity from this traumatic trial to learn and grow and be transformed and to not repeat this relational pattern.

RELATIONSHIPS ARE A MIRROR FOR EVERY PLACE WE ARE NOT HEALED

I hope you use this painful season as a jumping point for your inner healing and that the “blind” and “unconscious” places that fueled your relationship and choices are now more easily seen and you are becoming more “conscious” This is not about blaming or shaming yourself but developing a more clear understanding about your issues and your choices and your relationship history which began in childhood. Healing of the past cannot take place in the past but only in the present. You can come out of this stronger and more alive and more at peace in your mind,body, and spirit but do not rush the process…use this time as a time to pause and to rest so you can go forward in wisdom and value for yourself rather than “bleeding” onto others.

THE “RIGHT” NYC RELATIONAL TRAUMA THERAPIST CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE

Going through “Relational Trauma” not as a “victim” but understanding this as a “wake up” call to go deeper and give yourself the attention time and support you truly need. Would love to guide you and walk with you on this courageous amazing healing journey as “only the truth can set you free”. Give me a call so we can begin!!