If you are longing to have a truly intimate connection with another person then there are three important areas that are vital to form the foundation . If these areas are avoided  then the door to disconnection rather than intimacy will be opened and can  have a foothold in your relationship as the relationship will be continually on rocky ground..

1. Self Awareness

Self awareness is an essential building block in the tapestry of a alive and flourishing connection as without it so much that happens can be misinterpreted and misunderstood. Before you take a step or a "plunge" in a desire to have connection in relationship it is so important that you have knowledge about yourself...that you know your issues and that you understand that in every relationship you are the "common  denominator". If the same patterns are repeating in each relationship that is  giving you  information about yourself and providing an opportunity to stretch, change and grow as well as heal or stay stuck in being defensive: it is your choice how you respond rather than to just react. Intimate relationships can  provide amazing  opportunities  for growth as well as  reveal our issues.and flaws. We cannot grow and develop in isolation. You may be easily frustrated or have an underlying depression or low self esteem or anxiety issues or fear of trusting due to your traumatic relationship  history...all your baggage is going with you.

2. Vulnerability

In order to truly "show up" in a relationship and be free to openly share your honest thoughts and feelings  as well as  struggles :it is necessary to be vulnerable...sharing your heart is not something to be taken lightly and not to be shared with everyone but only with those that have earned your trust overtime and that your innermost parts will be safely received and honored with respect, caring and love: having a tender heart but using wisdom as to whom you open and  share your precious heart

3. Accountability

This  can be a very big one as it can certainly be a deal breaker. Your level of self awareness and being able to be vulnerable are essential to being able to be accountable. When you are off or when there is conflict and you are confronted( or not ) it is essential that you understand how being accountable or not being accountable will shape your relationship. Being accountable for your part whether your part is 20% or 100% is going to fuel your connection or disconnection as well as your understanding of the impact your words, actions, emotions have on your significant other, close friend or family member as you step up to take responsibility for yourself  rather than blaming others and remember"an explanation is not an excuse”..

Therapy with the right therapist can be help you to have more  intimate relationships and to develop self awareness, vulnerability and accountability which are essentials of healthy connections!

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