Emotional availability: Capacity to Truly Show Up

To begin with: when we enter into a relationship:every place where we are not healed is going with us and will come up..the way you choose to address your own issues or not address your own issues will have a great effect on your relationship…  

All though we are all going through this difficult season it is important to understand that each of us will react and  respond as well as process this time differently. This is especially essential to be able to see as your partner may have a different emotional response to stress than you do(which can trigger you or vice versa)...though prior to this you may have had little quality  time spent together and not really began to address your relationship issues in an ongoing way:now there are less distractions and there is more time to become more aware and knowledgeable about yourself and your partner …....However, even given this opportunity to be more emotionally available(or  you may have not even noticed how shut down you or/and  your partner have been)   this capacity to show up not just physically but emotionally and spiritually is one that needs to be developed over time as showing up physically and not being able to  know how to truly connect and be emotionally available means living in a shutdown and lonely place.

Learning to listen and To Hear

Learning to truly listen and to hear begins with     you becoming  more aware of what you are thinking and feeling and what you are  communicating  not just with words and tone of voice  but with body language and behavior(and what your partner is saying not just with words and tone of voice  but with body language and behavior)...we are communicating with eachother all the time and yet if our communication is not effective : can cause great frustration over time as to communicate in a healthy way means to listen and to hear with a sensitive ear and heart what your partner is really saying and to ask questions so that you can understand rather than be confused and frustrated.

Stretching past Your Comfort Zones: Where Growth Takes Place

It may seem like a big stretch past your comfort zones  for you to begin to  even consider being honest with yourself so that  you can  become more aware and accountable with regard to your own issues. It may be difficult for you to listen attentively to your partner and to share from your heart...There may be major breaches of trust in your childhood history that have traumatized you and you avoid or deny or explode in frustration and anger  as you do not know how to  address  conflict in a calm present and connected  manner...Therapy can be extremely helpful during this process so that you can come out of those deadend places  as well as those times of  feeling out of control  and become more emotionally balanced and healthy ...It is time to stretch and be courageous in order to grow!

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If you are ready to take a step toward having healthy relationships I would love to walk with you on this journey, video and phone available. Please contact me for a 20 minute free Phone Consultation.