Childhood trauma and reinjury in adult relationships

If you have experienced childhood trauma it is important understand how your history of trauma can greatly influence  and open the door to being  reinjured  as an adult by being retraumatized in relationships.

When you have had caregivers as an infant who were unable to care for and nurture you in a healthy way then the stable attachment that every baby desperately needs was not provided for you. Your caregivers may have  been disorganized  as well as provoked fear and anxiety in you. As an  infant we are completely dependent on our  caregivers as we need  them to survive. What happens in this very  critical  period of development  is that you learned to "dissociate"in other words you learned to" shut down"  Dissociation  is a  defensive attempt(unconscious) to survive by becoming   unable to" feel"  "think," or  "remember" the pain you  have experienced and its effects on you..There is a type of  emotional  blindness that then  takes place and is reflected as a   disconnect between your mind ,body and spirit that blocks out how you were  betrayed by those who were supposed to care for you and how you have been set up to not "feel" "think" and "remember".  

Going from Being a Victim to Walking in Victory

This is a good time to take a look at your adult relationships and choices you have made where you have been reinjured and left feeling helpless and victimized once again.These choices have very likely been fueled by feelings of shame ,guilt, anger and self loathing  Important to notice how you  are approaching  . relationships from  an  extremely vulnerable position as you have not yet  learned how to assess" who is safe and who can I trust?"  You may  have had  a relationship history of trusting toxic/dangerous people and putting yourself at risk by these relationship choices as they are familiar and sometimes can be an unconscious attempt to heal the past by attempting to repeat it .As you begin to address these wounds of the past and start to heal you will then make choices that reflect how you now know that you are valuable and this will be reflected in your life . Your identity will be transformed from "victim" to one who is "walking in victory".

Coming out of a life of Compromise

This will be a big step for you but this step will be in the right direction"going forward" rather than backwards. You may have lived with  the  "bar very low" and are getting tired of it which is a good thing.   Obviously more healing needs to take place for this to fully come about and to come out of a life of compromising what really matters to you. Obviously essential for you to know what that is.

Therapy can greatly help you to learn to assess your own heart and motives as who is safe ("earned your trust") The foundation for this step forward  is starting to know the truth that  "you are of value". You have believed a lie that the "crumbs of life" are good enough for you  but that is a lie from the pit!

I have accompanied many on this  healing journey and seen lives transformed from the inside out and look forward to hearing from you as you take this this courageous step to give yourself the time and the attention you need so that you can be restored and no longer walk with a spirit of victimhood running your life!

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Video and Phone therapy available during this time. Please contact me for a 20 minute free Phone Consultation.